Mumma Main Kaise Paida Hua

Pappu to his mom:”Mumma main kaise paida hua.. ??
Mom: Maine 1 bartan mein mitti daal kar rakh di,
kuch din baad usme se tum mujhe mile..
Pappu ne aisa hi kiya..
Ab kuch din baad usne jakar dekha to usme 1 mendak tha..
Pappu gusse se:
Dil toh karta hai ki Saale..
tujhe goli mar du, par kya karu ??
Aulad hai tu meri!! 
.My ‎#Boss installed ‎#WhatsApp and texted me
‘Oye ‎#Joke Bhej…!’
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I replied : "Sir abhi mein kaam kar raha hoon".
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after some time — Boss Replies:
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‎#Mast tha !!! Aur bhej ! :D :P


Funny Two Liners PJ From WhatsApp

Ladkiya bhi ajeeb hoti hain,
Taiyaar hone ke liye parlour jaati hain aur…
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Parlour jaane ke liye bhi taiyaar hoti hain!
———————-
Logo ko pata nahi kaise sachcha pyaar mil jaata hai..
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Hamein to subah palang ke neeche utaari chappal bhi nahin milti!
———————-
Kaun kehta hai ki sirf mohannat mein hi dard hota hai,
Kambakht…
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Darwaze mein ungli aa jaaye to bhi jaan nikal jaati hai!
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Jab tak zinda hoon message karta rahunga,
Jis din na karun samjh lena…
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Ki agle din karunga!
Aur kya.. maar do jaalimo abhi meri umar hi kya hui hai jo main maroon.
———————-
Agar aap kahin jaldi mein jaa rahe ho..
Aur ‘Kaali Billi’ aapke aage se gujar jaaye to iska matlab…
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‘Kaali Billi’ aapse jyada jaldi mein hai!
———————-
Samosa aaloo se: Jab main fry hota hoon,
to tumhe dhak kar garam tel se bacha leta hoon, kyunki main tumse pyaar karta hoon.
Aaloo: Jab log tumhe fry hone ke fauran baad khaate hain to main unka muh jala deta hoon, kyunki main bhi tumse pyaar karta hoon!
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Shiksha: Inki prem kahaani par na jaayein,
Samosa thanda karke khaayein!
———————-
Duniya mein wo kaun si cheez hai,
Jo sabse jyada baar foolti hai..
Phir bhi uske aakaar mein koi pariwartan nahin hota!!
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Biwi ka thobdaa …! :-D

Maine Zindagi Mein Dhoke Hi Khaye Hai

Arz kiya hai…. :-)
Maine hamesha zindagi mein DHOKE hi khaye hai.
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Maine hamesha zindagi main DHOKE hi khaye hai…. :-(
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grapes-mango-apple-chiku-amrud-cherry-pineapple-pear-watermelon
Sub DHOKE hi khaye hain.
Aap bhi DHO KE hi khana…. :-P :-D
Hygienic hota hai… :-D :-P :-D

Pappu Aur Traffic Policeman

Traffic Policeman: 100 fine de aur nikal jaa yahaan se.
Pappu: Sir! Satyamev Jayate waapas aa raha hai…
Traffic Policeman:
Achchha theek hai.
To yeh le 500 ki receipt…
Pappu: Sir Sir! Main to mazaak kar raha tha! :-P

Whatsapp Funny Jokes

Funny Hindi Jokes On Boyfriend


Ek larka apni girlfriend se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.

Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar larky ne socha ke chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai?

Dear, sweet or jaanu.

Jab usne misscall di toh screen pe likh raha tha “Murgha No.5? Calling”.

Whatsapp Hindi Jokes

Boy Vs Girl Hindi Jokes

Boy ne Girl ko propose kiya to girl gussa ho gaye aur boli .

Girl :- Apni shakl dekhi hai ?

Boy :- Ha dekhi hai, tabhi to tere pass aaya hoon varna katrina kaif ke pass nahi jata.

Whatsapp SMS Jokes

 Jokes On the Shop

I came out of the chip shop with a meat/potato pie, large chips, 
mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. 
A poor homeless man, sitting there, said, “I’ve not eaten for two  days.” 
I  told him, “I wish, I had your will power!”

Whatsapp Message Jokes

Jokes on Biology Exam

I took my biology exam last Friday. 
I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. 
Apparently “young blacks” and “Romanian gypsies” were not the correct  answers.

Whatsapp Message Jokes

A jokes On An Irish Boy

An  Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. 
A man asks him,“What’s wrong?” 
The boy says,“Me ma is dead”.  
“Oh bejaysus,”the man says. 
“Do you want me to call Father O’Riley for you?” 
The boy replies,“No tanks mister. Sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.”